Dai ruku
Sunday, 29 January 2012 @ 15:45
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I finally found and bought A History of Love by Nicole Krauss on Friday. Started on it yesterday and couldn't put it down. It's about loss but it doesn't make me feel entirely sad, there is humour in it and makes me smile. Have you ever read something that was heart-wrenching and heart-warming at the same time? It's the first time I feel the need to highlight in a book, to mark out the wonderful bits of it. But I didn't of course. It haunts me even after I put it down. It makes me want to send a long heartfelt letter to those that are important to me and tell them "You mean a lot to me, don't ever leave."

This particular part was entitled The Death of Isaac Babel:

Only after they charged him with the crime of silence did Babel discover how many kinds of silences existed. When he heard music he no longer listened to the notes, but the silences in between. When he read a book he gave himself over entirely to commas and semicolons, to the space after the period and before the capital letter of the next sentence. He discovered the places in a room where silence gathered; the folds of curtain drapes, the deep bowls of the family silver. When people spoke to him, he heard less and less of what they were not. He learned to decipher the meaning of certain silences, which is like solving a tough case without any clues, not only intuition. And no one could accuse him of not being prolific in his chosen métier. Daily, he turned out whole epics of silence. In the beginning it had been difficult. Imagine the burden of keeping silent when your child asks you whether God exists, or the woman you love asks if you love her back. At first Babel longed for the use of just two words: Yes and No. But he knew that just to utter a single word would be to destroy the delicate fluency of silence.

Even after they arrested him and burned all of his manuscripts, which were all blank pages, he refused to speak. Not even a groan when they gave him a blow to the head, a boot tip in the groin. Only at the last possible moment, as he faced the firing squad, did the writer Babel suddenly sense the possibility of his error. As the rifles were pointed at his chest he wondered if what he had taken for the richness of silence was really the poverty of never being heard. He had thought the possibilities of human silence were endless. But as the bullets tore from the rifles, his body was riddled with the truth. And a small part of him laughed bitterly because, anyway, how could he have forgotten what he had always known: There’s no match for the silence of God.

How do you feel? How can anyone not hear silence after reading that and not feel sad for the things that should have been said but were not, because words failed to convey the emotions behind them and silence replaced it instead? There are so many other beautiful passages in the book and I really recommend you to pick it up (plus if you did, the title of this post would have made you smile :>).

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One of my favourite poems
Friday, 6 January 2012 @ 23:05
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PASSING Stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours
only nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take
of my beard, breast, hands, in return,
I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake
at night alone,
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.
-To a Stranger by Walt Whitman

The last three lines are just perfect.

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