I've decided to write about some stuffs other then those crazy ass heavy thoughts that always go through my head everyday.
My socks are disappearing. I always seem to lose one sock every time I get my clothes out of the dryer. It's one sock each time and never from the same pair. So now I do not have enough socks for school and my socks don't match.
Now that the exams are over, I'm will clean up my room. Like really clear all the clutter, mop the floor and everything. I will
I love reading things written by people in love. They write the loveliest and most beautiful things, even those who were never good writers. They way they talk about things makes me want to be in love too.
Apparently some people find me funny in messages which is strange because I'm never funny in real life.
I'm going to shop alone and cut my hair this weekend. So exciting! I don't know which hair salon to go to though, anyone have suggestions? (who am I kidding, I'm so boring no one reads my blog, expect me)
I can't wait to go to uni and get my own apartment. That's my happy place, either me in an apartment all by myself, or the process of going to furniture and antiques stores looking for things for my apartment. I think it's because I've stayed in a hostel for four years and going now.
I wish there was a cute boy in my school, then I can say things like 'cute boy at school smiled at me today' or 'had a conversation with cute boy today. Life is good.' But there are no cute boys in school, boys in my school are just.. boys.
What am I even rambling about? I need sleep. But seriously though, my social life in like a zero now. Zlich, zip, nada. Going to buy a cat, although I really want a huge dog, but the cat fits my image of the girl who will grow old and die alone in her (hopefully) beautiful house.
I wish one day to be satisfied. I always seem to want more. Always restless for something new, something exciting and potentially life changing and restless for something other than what I have now and where I am now. There's something in me that makes me dream everyday about the future, dreaming about doing something else and being somewhere else, anywhere but here. The future is exciting to think of, fun, exotic and full of possibilities. The present seem dull and oh so tough in comparison. I am happier in the future I create in my head. In that future, I'm finally satisfied. Now I just have to remind myself to work hard so that the future will not always remain in my head.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." - John Lennon.
Even though this blog is fairly new, I've already managed to build up a collection of drafts. Half finished sentences which I'm not entirely pleased with (I'll never be happy with what I write). Chunks of words stringed together that doesn't even come closed to describing what was in my head. Thoughts that I want to share but seemed to be too personal and poorly written that no one would understand how important it is to me and maybe even think of me as that weird girl. But writing it out is a relief and comfort to me. My jumbled thoughts are a little more organized after writing, I understand some of those feelings that once used to confuse me. These drafts are like half finished paintings lacking the color that seem to exist only in my head, half written stories that need a proper ending, songs with lyrics that doesn't seem to fit. Sometimes I think that if anyone was to hack into my account, they would understand me better than anyone else this planet. I'm still deciding on what to feel of that. Time to delete and/or post some of those drafts...
I wish I was funny. But the sad truth is I'm the most un-funny person on earth, I'm not even humorous. I can never ever make people laugh. I believe it takes an intelligent person to be genuinely funny. If I was funny, I would know what to say to make someone feel better. I can make people laugh with my words and instead of awkward conversations, I would make interesting ones with people. Imagine how fun it would be to be a stand-up comedian!
Johnny Burnette - You're Sixteen
Amanda says I was born late. It's not that I don't like things from my generation, but to me, music, people, fashion and everything seems so much more interesting in the past, don't you agree?
I have so much respect for artists. Writers, dancers, painters, musicians, designers, actors.. I think it really takes a lot of courage to study art or pursue a career in art, especially today where everyone wants to earn money and be rich. Being passionate is very important to me, I think it's that one quality that will keep you going and happy and, I know this unbelievably cliche, it's makes life more beautiful because you have something that you are passionate about.
I think everyone is born an artist. Everyone feel, and when you feel something, you express it. Babies cry to express their unhappiness, children draw how they view the world, it just comes naturally. But when we grow older, we learn to keep our feelings to ourselves, because we are supposed to be mature, sensible, we are supposed to be 'adults'. But artists feel, because expressing important than being sensible, because we see so much more beauty that way.
I wish I had the courage enough to do that. It's so easy to chose the conventional path, study science, get a degree in science and there would be tons of jobs to chose from out there that you'll won't have a hard time earning money. It's easier to chose what's realistic and safe than to chose to do what you're passionate about. That's why I have so much respect for artist.
I remember asking a representative from an Art School in UK during a university convention about a course interior design, and it was when she told me I won't be able to study that because I don't study art for A levels and I don't have a portfolio, that it hit me. What I'm I even doing, studying the science course? I'm not good at it and I absolutely hate it. I'll never feel the way about sciences the way I feel when I draw, when I'm learning about international history and politics. And I won't be able to chose to study courses that I like university, I'm regretting so terribly for dropping art because 'my studies are more important'. There are many who, when asked what they regret in life, would reply with nothing because it made them who they are today. I don't think I'd ever feel this way. I will always regret that choice I made in primary 6. I wish there had been someone to tell me that there is nothing less important about art and to go for it. I'm so frustrated at myself, what was I thinking?
Singapore really needs to rethink her educational system. There is so many science and Chinese subjects offered during secondary school and in JC and barely a handful of arts and humanities course. Oh sure, you want to develop students who are creative thinkers, you want to make Singapore into a arts hub, but with all these emphasis on sciences are you providing enough choices and opportunities to make that happen? I'm not putting the blame on someone else, it's entirely my fault for choosing what I'm studying today, but I think things would had been different if there was a better environment for artistic pursuits in schools. Ahhh, c'est la vie. For those who are still pursuing your passion: respect.
This have been a rant and half of it doesn't even make sense. Hmmm, I live in my head too much sometimes. I wish I was able to express myself better, this sounded so much better in my head and now that I've typed it out, it sounds stupid and insignificant. Anyway, today I found out that there's a design school/ uni in Singapore. They offer fashion design, interior design and everything. Be right back, wallowing in self-pity.
“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.”
I've never been a huge fan of Taylor Swift because her songs all sound the same and she always sings about the same things: fairy tales, handsome princes and happy endings. But I guess that's what make her so appealing to girls right? She reminds us of the dream we all had when we were little, that someday we'll meet our princes and create our own fairy tale, even if it's childish and unrealistic still believe that it'll even happen.
Her concerts looks like a scene out of those fairy tales, complete with dancers twirling in the air, pretty dresses, that gorgeous grand staircase and men in suits playing the violin. It's like magic. Who cares if it's foolish? I'd like to believe I have my own fairy tale someday :-)
ps. I would love to be there at the concert where it rained.
Simple, cool and oh so chic. How do french women make it look so simple? It's like she just rolled out of bed and dressed up without putting much thought into it but still manage to look perfect. And her hair! She makes me want to dye my hair brown and get eyebrow-grazing bangs. Did you know that Mick Jagger called her 'the ideal women' and she turned down Bob Dylan?
When to the hospital today for a blood test to check for Thalassemia. I have never heard of that, the doctor explained it to me today. Basically it's some kind of inherited blood disorder that causes the body to produce abnormal hemoglobins. Yeah, I think it's kind of linked to anemia. But since I'm alive now, it's either I don't have it (pleasepleaseplease) or I only have one of the gene that causes it. So if I have one, no big deal, I have to make sure that my future husband don't have it, or else there's a 25% chance that my child will inherited the defective gene from both of us and he/she will die/ need blood transfusion every month and stuff :/ On the bright side, it's another reason for me to marry an European guy. (It occurs commonly to people of Asian, Chinese, Mediterranean, or African American ethnicity)
Anyway, can I just say how much I HATE NEEDLES. They are evil evil things. Ugh. But the doctor who drew my blood was really nice. She taught me a trick, I just have to take in a deep breath when she inserts the needle and when she pulls it out. It seems to hurt lesser that way. It's either because of that, or the fact that I was looking the other way like a coward the whole time.
Bought a new shampoo today, it's for wavy/ curly hair. Really hope it works cause now that my hair is longer, it's getting more temperamental, it can't seem to chose to be curly or straight, so I wake up to it looking different everyday. All I can say now is that it smells good :-)
This editorial is so lovely. Makes me wish, like always, that Singapore would be cold so I can actually walk in the sand in a white dress, with the sea breeze in my hair without feeling like melted ice-cream in the sun, all sticky and gross. Everything just seem so much better when it's cold.
via fashiongonerougue
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